Depression and Reflection

Probably mentioned on here before that I hurt my arm when falling over back in May, just a standard trip over the kerb a bit of a stumble then straight down on my elbow.
Took a patch of skin off which stung for a while, not the first time and probably not the last time I've fell over.
The difference this time is that where previously the cuts, bruises, gashes etc have
always healed in a few weeks and I carry on as normal afterwards, this one seems to have caused lasting damage.
The patch of lost skin grew back although still scarred, but the pain in my upper arm is getting steadily worse and recently I have been unable to lift my right arm above shoulder height, if I stretch outwards I get an intense pain in my upper arm.
I have seen 3 different doctors who all seem as useless as one another, the first after the long lecture about smoking gave me anti-inflammatory drugs and a painkilling injection, which made it hurt all the time and the drugs caused an old foot injury to swell up!!.
The second decided I was suffering from arthritis and suggested vitamin supplements
(Glucosamine Sulphate), which I've taken for nearly 6 weeks and the pain is increasing.
Saw a different Doc last week who decided I have something called a frozen shoulder? but at least she sent me for an X-ray which the other 2 docs wouldn't do.
So I've had my X-ray but have to wait till next week for the diagnosis if anything can be done?
Depression is setting in big time due to not being able to do things which have always come naturally, basic stuff like pulling on a t-shirt is painful and pulling up my trousers is an effort.
I am a pretty good darts player (at least I was) now I can't lift my arm enough to throw them, plus all those things I've took for granted are now a problem.
In the space of three and a half months I've gone from active 40 something to invalid, due to tripping over a kerb.
If I could remember exactly where it was I fell it could be a classic "no win no fee" to the council, but I can't be bothered.
If I hadn't chucked my job in just before this happened I would probably have lost my job (the joys of contract labour, no sick pay, replaceable when unavailable).

Reflection comes when your view of the elderly and disabled people change.
Although feeling sympathy for anyone suffering any illness or long term disability, I never grasped exactly what it means and what it's like.
For anyone that has been fully active then suffered a disabling injury, it must be incredibly hard to come to terms with, my injury is extremly minor compared to most, I can still use my arms and legs yet I'm feeling sorry for myself, if one of those limbs were taken I really couldn't imagine how to cope, the people that do cope are stronger than I'll ever be.
The elderly obviously have longer to come to terms with it, but they must all remember how it was when they were younger and running up the stairs was something you just did and didn't have to plan, standing on a chair to change a lightbulb was done without thinking and now even if they can they have to be extra careful as a fall could be fatal.
The thing that worries me most (and this must affect every elderly person) is that my ability to defend myself has been taken away.
I'm 6'2" and 17 stone basically a "brick shithouse" type of person who has never felt the need to be scared of anyone, I have always been confident that if I was threatened I could defend myself without problem, which I've done in the past with no major injuries.
Now I don't feel so secure and it concerns me.
The act of throwing next door's frisbee back a couple of weeks ago doubled me up in pain, so if I had to throw a punch it would probably be a lot worse.
So I have the utmost sympathy for anyone who has reached that time in their life (through age or injury) when the body just doesn't do what it's been used to doing all their life.